In this episode of the Servant Leader’s Library, Nicholas Paulukow sits down with Marti Spencer, CEO of Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Carolinas. Marti shares how servant leadership shapes every part of her work—from building trust with her team to supporting families in crisis. Her story is a powerful reminder that true leadership starts with empathy, grace, and a genuine love for people.
Nicholas Paulukow
Welcome back to the Servant Leader’s Library. I’m your host, Nicholas Paulukow, CEO of ONE 2 ONE IT Solutions, where we keep businesses secure, tech running, and leaders caffeinated.
While I spend my days making sure servers don’t crash and hackers don’t party in your network, today’s guest deals with a very different kind of crisis — one that truly tests the heart.
Join me as I talk with Marti Spencer, the powerhouse CEO and Executive Director of Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Carolinas.
For more than twenty years, Marti has been the calm in the storm for families facing medical emergencies, making sure they have a home away from home when life takes an unexpected turn. She’s led through challenges, raised millions to support families in need, and still finds time to lead with grace, grit, and contagious passion that reminds you there’s good in people everywhere.
So grab your coffee — or maybe your Happy Meal — and settle in, because Marti’s story is a reminder of what true servant leadership looks like.
Marti, welcome! What an incredible organization you’re part of. Tell us a little about yourself and what drew you to serve through Ronald McDonald House Charities.
We help leadership teams build more resilient IT foundations. Curious what that looks like?
Marti Spencer
Thank you, Nicholas, for having me. I really appreciate the opportunity.
I was actually introduced to the program by my sons when they were in high school. They volunteered at the Ronald McDonald House, and as any parent knows, when teenagers are excited about volunteering, you pay attention. They said, “Mom, you’ve got to see this place — it’s amazing.”
When I visited, I was immediately moved. The house runs on the heart of its volunteers — we truly couldn’t do what we do without them. They’re the backbone that allows us to keep administrative costs low while helping as many families as possible.
At first, I got involved by baking cookies, cooking meals, and helping however I could. Eventually, our founder, Frank Landgraf, approached me and said, “Why don’t you come work with us?” I started part-time as a program manager, later became Director of Development, and eventually CEO.
That led to launching a major capital campaign to expand our house, originally built in 1989, so we could support even more families who need more than a hospital — they need a home.
Nicholas Paulukow
Wow, that’s incredible.
You’re right — families need more than medical care; they need stability. And the way you described how you provide that, especially during such uncertain times, is powerful.
I actually shared earlier that I had a personal experience with Ronald McDonald House when my son was hospitalized. It was such a comfort — everything from the food to the welcoming atmosphere made a difference. What an amazing organization you lead.
Marti Spencer
Thank you. When I came on board, I realized quickly that while I run the Ronald McDonald House like a business, it’s a very different kind of business.
We don’t sell a product — we share a feeling and an understanding. Our “work” is built on compassion, which can be challenging, but it’s also deeply rewarding. You constantly have to think creatively and lead with heart.
Nicholas Paulukow
You came from the for-profit world before this. What was your defining “aha” moment — when you realized this wasn’t just a job but a calling?
Marti Spencer
Even before I started here full-time, I met a family while volunteering in the kitchen. There was a father with bandages on his hands and a son in a brace. He asked if we could hold his room while he went to Charlotte for his daughter’s funeral.
He explained that during a holiday trip, their family was in a terrible car accident. His daughter had been thrown from the car, and his wife and other child were still in comas. Yet, this man stood there — graceful, calm, and kind — thanking me for checking on his room.
That moment changed me forever. I realized I wanted to dedicate my life to helping families like his. For me, servant leadership began in that kitchen — with empathy, listening, and simply being present.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s powerful. I can’t imagine witnessing that and not being changed by it.
You mentioned your team earlier. How do you develop that same servant-leadership mindset within your staff and volunteers?
Marti Spencer
From the very beginning, I look for servant leaders. I even include that phrase in our job postings. Some applicants don’t know what it means, so it starts a great conversation.
In interviews, I explain that this job is different. When you come here, everything else — stress, gossip, distractions — stays outside. Our focus is on families, not office politics.
We also design our workspace to keep that mission visible. All our offices face the kitchen area — so every day, you see families. It’s a constant reminder of why we’re here.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s brilliant. It’s like you’ve built your culture right into your space.
How do you define servant leadership for your team?
Marti Spencer
Servant leadership is about relationships, not transactions.
In the for-profit world, everything’s about billable hours, contracts, and quick turnarounds. Here, it’s about understanding each person — volunteer, donor, or family — as an individual.
It’s not cookie-cutter. It’s about empathy and connection. And that kind of leadership builds trust and long-term loyalty — something that applies in any business.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s such a great distinction — leading with relationships, not revenue.
I could keep going, but I think that’s the perfect example of why your leadership shines.
Nicholas Paulukow
You mentioned earlier that you came from the for-profit world and learned to run Ronald McDonald House like a business. What have you noticed are the biggest differences between those two worlds?
Marti Spencer
In the for-profit world, you’re selling a product or service. There are clear deliverables, contracts, and invoices. Here, we’re selling a feeling — an experience of hope, care, and comfort.
That can be challenging, but it’s also what makes this work so rewarding. You have to think differently. You’re not convincing someone to buy; you’re helping them understand why it matters.
Nicholas Paulukow
I love that. You’re essentially helping people connect emotionally to a mission instead of a transaction.
What’s your approach when you hire or train your team to operate from that same mindset?
Marti Spencer
It starts right at the interview. I tell every applicant, “This is a servant-leadership environment.” Some people don’t know what that means, so I explain that we’re not just clocking in to do a job — we’re here to serve others first.
Every day, I check in with my staff. I ask, “How are you today? What do you need from me? How can I help?” That kind of daily connection reminds them that I’m here to serve them too.
I also make it very clear that gossip and idle chatter have no place here. When you walk into this building, the energy needs to be focused on kindness, teamwork, and helping families. You can be friendly — but not familiar. There’s a difference.
When people walk in, they should feel supported and respected. That environment starts with leadership.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s so well said — you’re setting expectations up front so the culture stays consistent.
You also mentioned earlier that your offices were designed around the kitchen area. I love that visual reminder of purpose.
Marti Spencer
Yes! When we did our expansion in 2018, we added 17,500 square feet, and every office lines up along the kitchen. You can hear the sounds of families — kids laughing, people talking, meals being made. It’s noisy, but intentionally so.
I didn’t want my staff tucked away somewhere quiet where they’d forget why we’re here. Every day, they’re reminded that their work impacts real people just a few feet away.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s such a great leadership move. You’ve literally built servant leadership into the floor plan.
What do you say to people who don’t quite understand that kind of leadership — who maybe come from that “clock-in, clock-out” corporate mindset?
Marti Spencer
I tell them this isn’t the kind of job where you can just show up and do tasks. This is about heart work.
You have to be ready to feel the mission. If you can’t connect emotionally to what we’re doing, it’s not the right fit. And that’s okay — not everyone is built for it.
But the ones who are? They thrive. They find fulfillment here because they see firsthand how their work touches lives.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s beautiful. I imagine leading through that kind of emotional environment can be both rewarding and exhausting. How do you keep your team grounded when the work gets heavy?
Marti Spencer
Communication. Every single day.
I tell my staff, “I can’t fix what I don’t know.” So I make it a point to ask questions, to notice when something feels off. I’ll walk into an office and say, “Hey, what’s going on? You seem a little different today.”
And we deal with things in real time. I don’t do yearly performance reviews. We talk as things happen — good or bad. By the end of the year, the only conversation we have is, “What was your proudest moment this year? What do you want to accomplish next year?”
It’s not about ticking boxes. It’s about genuine dialogue.
Nicholas Paulukow
I love that approach. You’re addressing challenges right away instead of letting them fester — and it builds trust.
That also sounds like a level of leadership many for-profit organizations could learn from.
Marti Spencer
Absolutely. I think there’s so much that the for-profit world could take from nonprofits.
For example, when corporate teams volunteer here, I don’t just hand them a mop or ask them to make sandwiches. We give them a full orientation. We show them who they’re helping, why it matters, and what impact their time has.
That context changes everything. Suddenly, they’re not just cleaning a kitchen — they’re creating a safe space for a family who hasn’t slept in days.
It’s the same in any organization: when people understand why their work matters, they show up differently.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s a great takeaway. You’re not just teaching them how to help — you’re teaching them how to tell the story when they leave.
Marti Spencer
Exactly. I always say, “When you leave here, I want you to be able to tell someone what we do and why it matters.”
That’s how you build community — through people who carry your mission with them. It’s not about fancy marketing. It’s about authentic storytelling through experience.
Nicholas Paulukow
I love that. You’ve created a culture that lives and breathes its purpose every day.
Nicholas Paulukow
You mentioned earlier that your role involves both compassion and business discipline. Running a nonprofit of your size can’t be easy. How do you balance the emotional side of what you do with the business realities of fundraising, staffing, and operations?
Marti Spencer
It’s definitely a balancing act. I always remind myself and my team why we’re here — that’s what keeps us grounded.
You have to separate the emotion from the administration sometimes. There’s paperwork, budgeting, strategy — all of that has to get done. But underneath it, there’s this heartbeat that keeps us going.
Someone once asked me, “Who’s your cheerleader?” And I said, “Well, I have a board, but they’re volunteers. I don’t hear from them every day.” The truth is, I have to be my own cheerleader a lot of the time.
When you’re leading a mission-driven organization, you have to find motivation from the purpose itself. For me, this is more than a career — it’s a calling.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s so true. Leadership can be lonely sometimes, even when you’re surrounded by people.
Have you ever had to deal with a staff member who just didn’t fit the culture — someone who didn’t align with your values or your mission?
Marti Spencer
Oh yes, definitely. That’s just part of leadership.
When that happens, I handle it with honesty and grace. I’ll sit down with the person and say, “Here’s what we agreed on when you started. Let’s review where things stand. What’s going well? What isn’t?”
Then I give them time — thirty days — to get things back on track. And we meet again. Most of the time, people either make the change or decide on their own that it’s not the right fit.
It’s not about punishment. It’s about clarity. I believe directness is kindness. You can’t expect someone to succeed if they don’t know where they’re falling short.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s a great line — directness is kindness. I think a lot of leaders struggle with that because they equate honesty with harshness.
Marti Spencer
Exactly. Being direct doesn’t mean being mean. It’s about being fair and clear.
When I’ve had employees who’ve brought negativity into the culture — gossip, drama, that sort of thing — I deal with it immediately. I’ll say, “If you can show me how this behavior benefits our mission, I’ll listen. But if you can’t, it needs to stop.”
Sometimes people don’t even realize how their energy affects others until you point it out. But it’s my responsibility to protect the culture.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s leadership in action. You’re protecting your people by maintaining the standard.
What’s your approach to trust? You’ve built a strong team, and that can’t happen without trust. But that’s not always easy. How do you develop that within your organization?
Marti Spencer
Trust is probably one of the hardest things for me as a leader.
I’m naturally someone who believes people will do the right thing for the right reason — but I’ve learned that’s not always the case. So I’ve had to find balance between trust and accountability.
I check in often. I don’t hover, but I don’t assume everything’s fine either. I’ll sit down with someone over coffee and say, “Help me understand why this happened,” or “Walk me through how you’re feeling about this.”
It’s about creating space for honesty. When people know they can talk to you without fear, that’s when real trust forms.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s a great insight — creating space for honesty. It’s not about control; it’s about communication.
Marti Spencer
Exactly. When something goes wrong, I approach it with curiosity instead of judgment.
I’ll say, “Help me understand why this decision was made,” or “What could we do differently next time?” That keeps the conversation productive.
The moment leadership becomes emotional instead of thoughtful, things start to break down. You have to take the emotion out of it and focus on solutions.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s powerful. I think a lot of new leaders could learn from that — especially the part about staying calm and keeping things in perspective.
What were some of the hardest lessons you had to learn when you first stepped into leadership?
Marti Spencer
Trust, definitely. And also learning that not everyone leads or works with the same heart you do.
When I was younger, I expected everyone to care as deeply as I did. And when they didn’t, it frustrated me. Over time, I’ve learned that people contribute in different ways. My job is to help them find the best way to give their best, not to make them clones of me.
I’ve also had to learn to let go. Early on, I was a bit of a helicopter leader — always checking, following up, redoing things. I’ve learned that part of trust is giving people room to grow, even if they make mistakes.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s a great point. Mistakes can be some of the best teachers. In our company, we actually use the phrase “fail fast and win.”
How do you approach failure with your team?
Marti Spencer
I tell them failure is part of learning. You can’t grow without it.
I once had an employee tell me, “I don’t fail.” And I said, “That’s sad, because failure is how we learn.”
We’re not striving for perfection — we’re striving for progress. If you make a mistake, own it, learn from it, and move forward. That’s growth.
And I always try to remind people that grace goes both ways. I’ll give you the grace to fail, and I expect you to give yourself the same grace to try again.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s such a healthy way to lead. You’re creating a culture where people aren’t afraid to be human.
Marti Spencer
Exactly. I always say leadership should be humble. You can be friendly, approachable, and kind without being familiar or losing respect.
We can have fun, but boundaries matter — they keep relationships healthy and professional.
Nicholas Paulukow
You’ve mentioned how important the community is to what you do. What are some ways the people around you — volunteers, donors, families — have surprised or inspired you over the years?
Marti Spencer
Oh, there are so many. But one that stands out is how people rallied around us during COVID.
We never closed. Not once. While most places were shutting down, we stayed open because families still needed us. We furloughed no one — it was just me, our Director of Operations, our 24-hour manager, maintenance, and housekeeping on-site. Everyone else worked from home.
We had to get creative. We started a “Volunteer from the Couch” campaign where people could still help by sending gift cards or supplies. We also launched a “Taste of Home” program that supported local restaurants. Donors could buy meals for our families through their favorite restaurants — it kept small businesses afloat while keeping our families fed.
And the community response was incredible. People would just show up, dropping off paper towels, toilet paper, food, whatever we needed.
I remember one mom saying, “This thing with social distancing — we live with that fear every day because our child is immunocompromised. We can’t afford to get sick.” That really hit home.
Through all of that, we never had a single COVID case in the house. Not one. To me, that was divine protection and community effort working hand in hand.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s amazing. It’s incredible how you adapted so quickly while still serving your mission.
Marti Spencer
We tried to keep it positive and fun, even in tough times. For example, at Christmas that year, we couldn’t host our normal big event, so we did a drive-through instead. Families drove through the parking lot, waved to Santa, got cookies with tongs — we made it work!
We also kept our house decorated and bright, because even when the world feels dark, this place needs to feel like light.
That’s what leadership is sometimes — finding creative ways to keep people’s spirits up when everything else feels uncertain.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s a great lesson for any leader — adapting with heart.
Let’s talk about donors for a minute. You’ve raised millions for Ronald McDonald House Charities. What’s your secret to building strong donor relationships?
Marti Spencer
For me, it’s all about connection and follow-up. Every year, we put together an Impact Study that shows donors what their support has accomplished.
We share numbers — how many families we served, how many meals were provided, how much money families saved on lodging and transportation. Last year, for example, we saved families about $1.4 million in expenses. That’s huge.
But beyond the numbers, I focus on personal touches. I send handwritten thank-you notes. I call donors just to check in, not to ask for anything.
One donor lost his grandfather, who was the founder of a family foundation. I made a note to reach out on the anniversary of his grandfather’s passing. I told him, “Grief is the price of love, and what you’re doing here continues your grandfather’s legacy.” That meant the world to him.
That’s what relationship-building is about — showing up in ways that matter.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s such a servant-leader mindset. You’re not treating people as dollar signs; you’re treating them as partners in the mission.
Marti Spencer
Exactly. Every donor is different. Some want to give quietly; others love to be hands-on. My job is to understand what fulfills them — what makes their hearts light up.
It’s not about saying, “Here’s our $10,000 sponsorship package.” It’s about asking, “What would you love to support?” When you approach giving that way, it becomes a shared mission, not a transaction.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s such a great perspective. I imagine that approach has led to some long-term relationships.
What advice would you give to other leaders who want to rally their teams — or their communities — around a cause that’s deeply emotional but also operationally demanding?
Marti Spencer
I’d say this: be present and consistent.
You can’t just inspire people once and expect that to carry them through. You have to check in, communicate, and make sure they’re okay.
Leadership is about constant connection. Whether it’s your staff, your volunteers, or your donors — they need to feel seen.
And you can’t be afraid to admit when something’s hard. Vulnerability makes people trust you. It shows them you’re human, too.
At the same time, you have to balance that compassion with accountability. The mission still needs to move forward. That’s where structure comes in — systems, goals, and clear communication.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s excellent advice. It sounds like you’ve found a way to blend heart and structure perfectly.
You’ve mentioned your team a few times — they clearly mean a lot to you. What do you hope your team says about your leadership when they look back on their time working with you?
Marti Spencer
I hope they say I was fair and loving.
I want them to feel like they were supported, challenged, and seen. I want them to say, “She cared about me as a person, not just as an employee.”
That’s really what I strive for every day — to make sure people feel valued and purposeful in what they do.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s beautifully said.
How has this work changed you personally — not just as a leader, but as a person?
Marti Spencer
It’s made me more grateful, for sure.
There are days I’ll come home tired and maybe frustrated about something small, and then I’ll think, How can I complain when I just spent the day with families fighting for their child’s life?
It puts everything into perspective.
I’ve learned that empathy doesn’t drain you — it refuels you when you channel it right. Gratitude and grace are the two biggest gifts this work has given me.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s powerful. It’s easy to forget that perspective in the day-to-day.
If you could go back and give your younger self leadership advice — maybe when you were just starting out — what would you say?
Marti Spencer
I’d tell her to follow her heart sooner.
I spent years in the corporate world doing marketing and PR in Miami — long hours, big budgets, no real balance. I was good at it, but it never fed my soul.
Now, I get to do something that matters. I still use all those business skills every day, but now they serve people, not profits.
So I’d tell my younger self: Don’t wait for the “perfect” opportunity. The meaningful one is waiting for you.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s such a wonderful way to close. Marti, thank you for sharing your story — and for the incredible work you and your team are doing.
Marti Spencer
Thank you, Nicholas. It’s been an honor to talk with you and share what we do.
Nicholas Paulukow
And thank you to our listeners for joining us on the Servant Leader’s Library, where we celebrate leaders who lead with heart.
Until next time, keep serving — and keep leading.
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