BJ Carter joins Servant Leader’s Library to share hard-won lessons from the front lines of technology, culture, and faith-driven leadership. In this candid conversation, he digs into clarity over comfort, building respect without ego, and serving people first. If you lead a team, or want to, this episode is a masterclass in practical servant leadership.
Nicholas Paulukow
Welcome back to the Servant Leader’s Library, where we pull the best leadership wisdom off the shelf—and sometimes blow the dust off some old ideas. I’m your host, Nicholas Paulukow, CEO of ONE 2 ONE, the cybersecurity and managed IT firm that keeps your business running smoother than your morning coffee.
Today I’m joined by someone who’s been leading from the front lines of technology and integrity for over three decades. BJ Carter is a powerhouse CEO and technology leader with a career spanning more than 30 years of steering companies to success. He has served on boards and in advisory roles at Fortune 2000 companies, raised over a billion dollars in capital, and helped create billions more in enterprise value.
Beyond the boardroom, BJ is a family man through and through—proud husband of 30 years to his wife, Lori, and father of three boys: Caleb, Jacob, and Mason. He’s also an active member of East Point Church and a lifelong servant leader in the information technology industry, leading with faith, integrity, and a knack for bringing out the best in people. BJ knows how to attract top talent, inspire innovation, and build cultures around trust—while keeping things real.
So grab your coffee, settle in, and let’s dive into how servant leadership can build not just better businesses, but better people—with the one and only BJ Carter. BJ, thank you for joining us today. Simply put, you’ve had a wonderful career.
Why don’t you help listeners understand what you do when you’re not running billion-dollar transactions?
We help leadership teams build more resilient IT foundations. Curious what that looks like?
BJ Carter
I’d say it’s quite simple. I don’t have a lot of outside relationships that don’t involve family, our community, or our church.
Primarily, those are the three groups I spend all my time with, and there’s more than enough satisfaction inside those groups to fill my buckets on a daily basis.
Nicholas Paulukow
I love it. Well said. Over 30 years of working in the industry, what was one of those moments when you thought, “I’m built for this”? Like, you mixed who you are with your God-given talents.
BJ Carter
That’s an awesome question. I was raised in a Christian home, which provides a perspective on priorities and values—whether or not you live according to them is a whole different construct. When I got out of high school, I was not really a fan of academia. It was interesting, but painful.
We didn’t have a lot of resources as a family, but I knew my little sister was going to be a rock-star academic. So I went off to the service, joined the 82nd, and went to Panama and the Gulf. When I got out, I was really insecure because all my buddies had taken the four-year college track and were just starting to graduate.
So I was operating from a position of fear when I went into college to play catch-up. I banged out a degree in psychology in two and a half years and went right into industry and technology. I didn’t choose technology—it kind of chose me—but I enjoyed the ability to help companies. I like making customers happy.
Leadership, I think, was a by-product of how we were raised as kids. All my sisters are very much alpha personalities who prefer to provide perspective on how to get things done—good, bad, or indifferent. That played a part.
I also grew up in a unique family situation: my mom’s from Maine, my dad’s from Mississippi. Half my life was in the South and half in the North. You get the tenacity of a Northern attitude and the hospitality of the South. It lends itself well to being a people person.
Leadership came quickly in the service. In the military, being decisive and thinking about others first created a pattern of consistency and relationship-building that put me in leadership positions. I’ve failed more times than I’ve succeeded in leadership, and I’ve tried to use those failures as guideposts for what to do—or what not to do. Early days, family was the shaping tool.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s amazing—and thank you for your service. I’m smiling because psychology helped me too. I wanted to go into the service, and my path has some similarities: I wasn’t the straight-A student—my sister was. I liked bucking the system and changing things because the “same” felt boring.
I realized that serving others and building others up brings a lot of unity. I also served in the fire service, and I tell leaders all the time—I once told a coach—“Why can’t I get that same feeling of camaraderie in business?” He said, “Because you’re paying them to be there. In the other services, you weren’t—you were united by the mission.”
Hearing you say that, I’m curious: have you found that same camaraderie and respect in the business community?
BJ Carter
The military gives you a framework of command and control. There’s a built-in structure for compliance and leadership. The best leaders don’t rely on that to influence others; the team knows that leader has their best interests at heart. In some ways, leadership is easier there, but in some ways it’s more difficult because of the compliant nature of the hierarchy.
The higher-performing the group, the less the hierarchy matters. It’s about: can you lead, can you look after the team, can you achieve the objective? That translated well to business. Early in my career, I worked with struggling businesses that didn’t have the structure to produce results. It became about influence, passion, and helping people understand the why.
Early on, during an interview process with a college dean—we were hiring and I was the CTO—the dean told me: if you can align someone’s personal interests with the company’s goals and mission, you get a much better dynamic. To do that, you need to understand what your people want. In my industry, people don’t leave because of pay. Technologists leave because they don’t believe their boss cares about them, they’re not being challenged, and they’re not being invested in through training.
You need to take the time to understand why your people are here. Why are they getting out of bed? Knowing some personal stuff about your people is super important. It sounds great in theory—the practical application is hard. Under pressure, you make decisions that affect people personally—performance issues, business shifts, restructuring. That’s where faith comes in: following the best leader ever—one who put others first. If you follow that example, a lot of good things happen around you naturally.
Nicholas Paulukow
As you went through that journey, did you develop a set of core values? You sound very strong on values. When you led people who didn’t share them, how did you work through that? Could you overcome it, or was it difficult?
BJ Carter
You never “master” it. I can give you case studies of doing it right and case studies of putting my own agenda or corporate objectives first, dehumanizing individuals, and decimating teams.
Nicholas Paulukow
You know what I mean?
BJ Carter
“Sorry, we don’t need this team,” or “You’re not performing”—I’ve traversed both ends of that spectrum. It’s a balance. You can’t be “just a friend”; you are the boss, the CEO. You set tone, pace, culture, and direction—and you must be clear about expectations for each role.
You spend most of your time with your managers so they can spend time with their people. You have to trust people. If you start micromanaging—come see me, call me—I’ll tell you how ugly that gets. You won’t get the outcome you want.
Nicholas Paulukow
I like the word you used: clarity. I was coaching someone stepping into LMA—lead, manage, and hold people accountable. He thought he had to be “really nice.” I said, “You must be kind—but you must be clear: here’s your performance, here’s what needs to improve.” Do you see that a lot? What advice would you give him? He thinks avoiding tough feedback is kind, but it’s not driving results or helping the person.
BJ Carter
You’re not leading; you’re just building a relationship. That’s not what the business requires.
Two things I learned early:
- If you don’t have to make a decision immediately, take the time you need. Colin Powell had great indicators for the kind of information you should collect before deciding.
- Separate a person’s performance from their ego so you can work on performance without devastating the ego. If you attack the ego—call me again and I’ll tell you how that ends.
If you can address performance issues, you can craft a model where success is clear and you can work toward it. We’re all human—we’ll make mistakes. As a leader, stop worrying about being liked and focus on being respectable. If you destroy respect, you won’t be followed—and I can give you a 1-800 number on how that plays out.
High-performing teams expect you to trust them to execute. As a leader, you must accept that your fate is in the hands of the collective, not just your own.
Nicholas Paulukow
How does someone new to leadership know whether they’ve earned respect—from peers or their team? Any tips?
BJ Carter
Be prepared to do the job you ask someone else to do. Be competent and efficient at it. If you’re lacking there, they’ll know early—don’t hide it. My dad says he “reserves the right to get better every day.” As a leader, identify what you’re working on to be the best leader possible—personally and professionally—and don’t hide it.
Some leaders are great public speakers; some aren’t. Some excel with numbers; others with operations. Know where your “magic” happens, and complement your gaps. People see truth and transparency—they’re more likely to respect you. Nobody expects perfection. But as CEO, people may assume you have more superpowers than you do.
Planning, visioning, execution—quarterly and monthly meetings—make it obvious over time. You don’t have to be liked, but you should be respected.
When I started in industry, I was insecure: wrong schools, not confident I brought the right things. So I pulled the two levers I could: I worked harder and longer. I overcompensated by memorizing facts and details, consuming information, meetings, conferences—becoming proficient at my craft. Leadership came through mentorship. I recommend having two or three mentors at all times who will tell you what you don’t want to hear—finance, legal, operations, international. Seek feedback and learn. If you’re sincere and don’t waste their time, they’ll save you cycles.
Nicholas Paulukow
I messed that up early. I thought I had to figure it out alone. When I finally found mentors—plural—it changed everything. The right ones don’t tell you what you want to hear. I had a session yesterday: “Nope, that’s crap. You committed to X. What are we doing?” That accountability matters. If a session doesn’t make me a little uncomfortable, it’s probably not helping me grow.
BJ Carter
I built a men’s group for like-minded CEOs who want deeper discussions about faith as an asset and tool in the workplace. They know their relationship with their Lord and Savior but haven’t mastered putting it in motion at work. They’re not looking for mamby-pamby affirmation—they want to get in the work, pursue an elite mindset, and create impact commercially.
We tell guys: don’t come if you just want to sit and participate—you won’t like it. The group has grown 300% in two years because like-minded people are searching for truth and raw reality. There’s a new awareness globally about what matters. My dad says, “Mean what you say—just don’t be mean when you say it.” Be open, honest, and transparent. You don’t need to destroy someone to get your point across. Leave them intact.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s hard sometimes. I hear a lot of Patrick Lencioni: humble, hungry, and smart. I stumble—when I’m upset, have I explained myself well, or did my facial expression do the talking? It’s a daily reset: pause, think, be open and honest. If I’m not doing that, maybe I don’t trust the group—so start there.
BJ Carter
When in doubt, think it out. Call me: 1-800-DONTDOTHIS. I’ve destroyed teams and people because they were on the wrong side of an issue with me. You’ll have leadership remorse. If you’re not sure how to handle something, time it out. You can come back to it—but once you pull a nail out of a tree, there’s still a hole.
Nicholas Paulukow
So true. People see the tip of the iceberg, not what’s underneath. On mixing faith: someone asked my best book right now. I said, “The one with all the answers—the Bible.” It’s amazing how often it holds the answer to a leadership problem. It’s rare to hear people talk openly about this at work, but it’s freeing. Have you run into pushback? I got blasted on social by a former employee: “He talks about God at work.” If that’s the worst critique, I’ll take it.
BJ Carter
People can be beaten up, insecure, afraid—unsure how to approach the topic. I can only tell you what’s happened to me. If someone finds that offensive, that’s on them. I’m not asking anyone to conform to my way of thinking. When someone asks where I draw strength, the answer is my relationship with Christ. I can show you, by any metric, changes in my life when my priorities aligned with biblical principles.
I don’t force my beliefs. I lead with principles that drive how people are treated, valued, and expected to perform. It just happens to align with the Bible. I don’t need to be “right”; I need to ensure the leadership content I consume is correct. To date, no other savior has risen from the dead; until you find one who has, I’m committed to this path—centered on servant leadership through the Bible. My work has ranged from hundreds of thousands to tens of thousands, to millions, and now to projects in the billions.
Nicholas Paulukow
Amazing. Christ did everything as a great leader and was still killed. Leadership—especially principle-based leadership—is hard. We talk a lot about servant leadership here, and everyone defines it differently. What does it mean to you?
BJ Carter
Serving your people. The senior person should have the best perspective on the business—that’s the job. I wake up assuming I have more information than most because I’m involved in more. I should use that awareness for everyone’s benefit, not just an echelon.
Packard led by walking the floor with his people. If you’re truly a servant leader, you haven’t separated yourself from the people. You’re with them, understanding their day so you can make better decisions. They’re the ones serving customers—get out and truly understand customers, not just on a CEO tour.
I’ve gotten full of myself—jets, dinners, meetings—irrelevant things. A seafood CEO told me: “I make sure partners are paid on time and well above market. I make sure employees are paid on time and well and treated with respect.” They don’t lose employees or customers—97% retention across over a thousand customers. It’s basic: get into the world of the people you say you’re leading and use your awareness and resources to improve their lives as employees. It sounds simple—and it is—but it’s easy for a CEO to get high on their own supply. Avoid it at all costs.
Nicholas Paulukow
Ego gets you in trouble. My assumptions have embarrassed me more than anything. We also want to move faster than we should. If you’re unbridled and reactive, you can do a lot of damage quickly—and it’s hard to recover. As CEO, there’s a social barometer on you; people hold you to a standard you may not realize.
I’ve also learned working with friends can destroy relationships. My desire to grow outpaced theirs, and I was managing the relationship instead of the business. When we finally separated, the staff said, “It’s about time.” Humble pie.
BJ Carter
Different contexts. Let me ask you something I ask my guys: out of 100% of your time, how much do you spend thinking forward?
Nicholas Paulukow
A lot. Most of my day is about future impact. That’s a pro and a con. My team needs me present in the now. My wife is my most honest critic: “Stop comparing to the ‘greater good.’ Be who you are and get on the path.” It’s hard when you can see the destination.
BJ Carter
As CEOs, because we can see, we assume we can be there now—and we frustrate teams. How much time do you spend thinking about the past?
Nicholas Paulukow
The past happened. Learn from it. I love mistakes—they show what not to do next time. My biggest failure is not figuring out my part in the problem. Schools condition people to avoid failure; I’d rather fail fast and adjust. Some personalities (high “D” in Culture Index) get value from data and feel failure more acutely. I had to learn to lead different people differently—and I need those detail-oriented folks in finance and other areas.
BJ Carter
Over 30 years, I’ve seen that fixating on the future—or the past—destroys your ability to be present. Spending time with leaders in their 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, I’ve noticed a trend: they focus on the quality moment and affect better outcomes. The annual plan, five-year plan, quarterly metrics—that’s perfunctory leadership work. Lately, I’m holding up a mirror: am I bringing my best self to this interaction as if tomorrow won’t come? Scripture says to focus on today; tomorrow will take care of itself.
I can almost tie business results to how much time you spend solving today’s issues in a practical, caring, servant-leadership way.
Nicholas Paulukow
I recently made an executive hire and was thinking three, five, ten years out. My mentor said, “Stop. Be in the now. If it works for a year, great. You need the now.” It’s another reminder from prayer: be okay with now. As a driver, even with family, I have to reset: be present today.
BJ Carter
The “mystery” that my better planning produces better outcomes is a fallacy. When you’re young, you want to go fast. Time and experience can’t be replaced. As seasoned CEOs, role-model behavior that values the moment and the quality interaction—you’ll get the benefit of collective thinking instead of believing you alone have the answers.
Healthy organizations are honest, transparent, willing to challenge, willing to make mistakes without fear. Where the leader’s ego dominates, everyone knows the group would make a better decision. You don’t need consensus—you need the collective’s best input, then decide.
When you’re young, you operate from scarcity—resumes, interviews, social pressure. It’s unfair. My “cheat code” for young people: servant leadership and a relationship with the Bible and with Christ. It puts you in a mindset where you don’t need to operate from fear.
Nicholas Paulukow
That’s hard when you feel responsible for so many people. Scarcity breeds fear. My breakthrough was surrender: “I offer this completely to You. Whatever You decide, I’ll accept it.” Every time I do that, good things happen. People might say, “Easy for you to say—you have resources.” But I’ve never worked for cash; I’ve worked for purpose: serving more people. Money follows. Still need a plan—but I get frustrated when people aren’t served well, even in a simple phone call. Rallying everyone around that can be hard.
BJ Carter
This journey is tough. At 56, I can see how my ego got involved—finish school faster, collect data, prove I’m smart. In the end, it’s how you treat people and the perception you leave them with. They’ll either call on you again or never want to see you. That requires awareness and vulnerability. I hire for personality over skill when the skill can be learned because culture wins. I can point to companies where misalignment at the top, fractured commitment, or self-interested behavior—sometimes mine—damaged culture. It can be avoided, but you have to be honest with yourself.
Nicholas Paulukow
The most dangerous person lacks self-awareness. I’ve been told, “You want it more than they do.” Sometimes you have to let them go and let them figure it out—even when you see their potential.
BJ Carter
That’s tough. I run that men’s ministry and also created something called the “Elite Mindset,” which walks through the five constructs of life: faith, family, finance, future, fitness, foundation. There’s stacking, journaling, and a consistent start to the day. It’s an amalgamation of what’s worked for me.
People ask, “How do I stay consistent?” I give them the framework. A real-estate guy doing $70–$100 million asked me last night. The 1% are intentional with time. They filter noise. They know how to say no. Look at Elon—laser focus on priorities.
Set clear priorities and real goals that feel out of reach. The difference between achieving something big and something small? The person who did the big thing believed they could—and kept coming back to that belief day after day, adjusting the plan along the way.
Nicholas Paulukow
Back to basics: do the small things well, over and over. If things are falling apart, we probably stopped doing the basics.
You’ve had this career in servant leadership—have you ever felt a mismatch with your purpose?
BJ Carter
Yes. In the last 10 years, I joined a venture where I had the skills and resources, but there was cultural disconnect at the top and misalignment on strategy and capability. It created unhealthy frustration. I got into it because I felt I “should,” not because I was led there. When I move the slowest and seek guidance aligned with my faith, abundance follows—even if the challenges are massive. For strategic directions, take yourself out of the driver’s seat. For me, that means prayer. I never get the answer on my timeline, but the process brings clarity, and the decision becomes obvious.
Nicholas Paulukow
Last year on retreat, the only message I got was, “Go find your purpose.” That sent me searching. Someone asked, “Have you asked for help finding it?” Fair point. It’s a constant struggle—are you fulfilling your purpose? We’ll see. This is helping.
BJ Carter
When I built the Elite Mindset, it was to bring consistency to what I’ve learned. If you have a goal, it may be unique to you—pursue it. Obsess over it in the right way. People talk about manifesting; I believe if you truly want to achieve something, God likely put it on your heart. You have an obligation to pursue it with dedication and commitment.
Success comes from executing daily—strategically and consistently—pivoting as the world throws things at you. If you align with faith, you’re looking for guidance. It’s the journey: God doesn’t prepare you for the journey; the journey prepares you.
Nicholas Paulukow
I love it. One last question as we wrap: if your team described you in three words, what would they say?
BJ Carter
Which team?
Nicholas Paulukow
Any team you’re working with now.
BJ Carter
They’d say: he puts us first. I seek them out even when they’re not required to make a decision. I’ve taken a much more collaborative approach with my senior leadership team.
If you’re going to work around me, be prepared to put in hours—there’s commitment. I’ve also heard, “You’re likely to make the most money you’ve ever made, and you’ll learn more than you’ve ever learned.”
I’m trying to teach the team to do my job—not because I’m building a succession plan, but because they’ll be more informed leaders if they think like the senior guy.
Nicholas Paulukow
I love it. BJ, this has been awesome. You’re an amazing man. That’s a wrap on today’s chapter of Servant Leader’s Library. Big thanks to BJ for reminding us that leadership isn’t about titles; it’s about tuning into your people and your purpose (and maybe your Wi-Fi signal once in a while). BJ, your blend of bold vision, grounded integrity, and no-nonsense culture-building is the kind of leadership playbook we all wish came preloaded—one day at a time.
For everyone listening, if today’s conversation got your gears turning, don’t just close the tab and move on. Go serve someone. Lead with purpose—and maybe raise a few billion dollars while you’re at it.
I’m Nicholas Paulukow, CEO of ONE 2 ONE—the team keeping your data safe, your tech humming, and your leadership library well-stocked. Until next time, keep leading, keep learning, and remember: great leaders don’t just run the show—they reboot it when it crashes.
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